Could I be Thor the God of Thunder…?

Once I was powerful, strong, and arrogant. Wielding my mighty mystical mallet Tjlameyde and wearing my symbolic armour Hunndikap I smote all before me as I plundered the lands from my godly homeland in Gaoerfu through the plateaus of Tii, down through the plains of the peaceful kingdom of Ferweigh on my way to conquer the stubborn peoples of the land of Gareen. The sand giants of Bunn-ka, the green behemoths of the Forrest kingdom, the little people of the neighbouring kingdom of Ruffoo, even the seldom visited tributary fiefdoms of Oubee and Vasserhassaad all fell as one before my magical mallet Tjlameyde. No kingdom was safe. Before long, I knew, I would conquer them all. I was born to be the greatest warrior Gaoerfu had ever seen.My father, the king of the Gaoerfutians, the great warrior Teiteleist, indulged me, enjoying watching me grow stronger and more powerful each day.

But I was too arrogant. I did not listen to anyone and it was, the legends tell, merely a matter of time before my fall from grace. And when that time came it was a fall that shook the very heavens themselves. Cast out of the kingdom of the gods I fell to earth; a mortal with no powers to be laughed at and scorned by the other mortals. My mystical mallet powerless and my Hunndikap armour in ruins I cried in despair to the heavens. The father of the gods, Teiteleist, in the cruelest of ironies allowed me to keep my Hunndikap armour and the mystical mallet Tjlameyde even though he tarnished one and took away my power to control the other. Occasionally he would open a gateway to the mystical lands where I had been the strongest of all and let me travel through them as if to show me just how far I had fallen. Try as I might I could not summon the power of the hammer of Tjlameyde which had once been mine to control. In my arrogance before I feared nothing and noone, disregarding any before me. Forrests were merely something to be scorned, i would simply power my way through the Sand Giants of Bunn-ka, blast my way across the plains of Ferweigh, and explode into the kingdom of Gareen to announce my certain victory. But now, with my power stripped from me, my confidence in tatters, defeat became possible, losing my expected outcome. I began to know…fear…

But the great god Teiteleist, in his cruelty, and having banished me from the mountain top still allowed me to walk to fields of old, taste the battlefield and experience the glories of war. And every time I would throw my weight behind the mallet Tjlameyde and hope that once more I would feel it’s power course through my veins. But it was not to be. Conquered by the Forrest creatures, my bombs consumed by the goblins of Raofu, my best attacks absorbed by the Sand Giants of Bunn-ka I could only despair at how far I had fallen. Even my old Hunndikap armor which I still clung to, was in tatters; more an embarrassment than a protection. Where before it had been a symbol of my power now it hung in tatters around me, a dull used up copy of it’s former glory.

Teiteleist why hast thou cast me out…

But slowly…surely…almost without me noticing a change was taking place in me. Where once I scorned the Forrest creatures I began to make friends with them. Where once I looked on with disdain at the sandy grotesques of the land of Bunn-ka I began to see them as creatures of the world to be left in peace or at least to be disturbed as little as possible. I no longer attacked the goblins of Ruffoo but instead would beg passage on my way through to the pleasures of Gareen. I began to feel the pain of the creatures whose lands I had for so long taken as my rightful domain. I began to realize that rather than destroy all in my path on my way to domination that I could use a combination of discourse and diplomacy to make my way more smoothly to the gates of Gareen. Where power and destruction had been my only weapons now gentleness and persuasion were my tools. Where before I would leap in unannounced to destroy the lands I was visiting I would now gently drop in, discuss, consider what the people of Gareen needed and come to an agreement that would benefit us both. And something strange started to happen. My ancient armour Hunndikap began to look respectable again…and was that a glow beginning to emanate from my mystical mallet Tjlameyde?

Perhaps this is what my father Teiteleist had in mind all along when he cast me out…

Was I developing a conscience? Was this humility I had developed? Now I really was perfect!

Ok, guess I still have a way to go. But I am definitely on the way…

And yes, I was a little “Thor” after my game last weekend…


About THE Steve

I work, I play golf, I write, I have opinions, I try to be nice to animals and small children. That's me.
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1 Response to Could I be Thor the God of Thunder…?

  1. Nic McKay says:

    Went to the cinemas recently did we oh ‘thor’ one! 🙂

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